seems i've always got something on the tip of my tongue.    ©

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Cunting Wear -- Now available!

I'm happy -- no, thrilled -- to announce that I'm whoring clothing and such. The Cunting Corner's now open for your perusal. And if you thought I'd been distracted lately, you were right!

First off, the "store" lay-out is butt-ugly. I'll work on that over time, but it's not the most pressing thing. There's an insane amount of product selection, which will also be getting whittled down, but for now, whatever people want can be had.

I took some time to think up a few fun t-shirt slogans -- they're all original, all 100% Steff. I'm hoping y'all get a giggle, then spill your wallet in my favour. Face it, I might have ideals, I might have taste, and I even have know-how, but what I really want is your money.

Well, not personally you. I have nothing against you. It's just that I like money. And we both know your money's as good as the next guy's, and since I covet his money, too, I might as well covet yours. I do digress.

The point is this, you're out there, at the gym, say, busting your gut, trying to get an ass anyone could love, and you're gonna need some gear.

Now, sure, you could go be some corporate whore and display your Nike training outfit to the world, or you could be some unimaginated Old Navy type, but now there's a third option. Now you can dress rather Cuntly. Admit it, you're thinking it sounds interesting.

Here's my thinking; you can buy a "Spank-worthy" shirt for when you're grinding it out on the Stairmaster, and you won't even have to flirt with the cutie across the way on the elliptical trainer. They'll get a look at your Spank-worthy shirt, see your dedication to sweat and performance, and it'll all click. CLICK.

Really, all I want to do is send you home with a side of sex.

I *am* the original altruist. Really. Don'tcha know?

Okay, okay, I know, you're thinking, "Well, how about leather? How about Armani? How about Dolce & Gabbana?" Sorry, they don't print to order. We'll stay on top of 'em, though, and maybe we'll win this battle yet. For the meantime, you're stuck with jersey knit t-shirts.

Smart, fun, sexy t-shirts. And thongs. Did I mention thongs? Oh, yes. And boxers, and mousepads, and mugs, and... yes, I'm a whore. Support my whoredom. I'm doing it with the best intentions...

That is, so you can keep gettin' yer fix. I mean, god forbid that I return to the hell called 9-5. Help me say sayonara to the man, man.

(In case the slogans are not showing up large enough for you -- I haven't figured out a better way to display it, and since my brain has fried to the point of being grey matter only after all the lame laying out and fucking around I've done this week, let me just break it down for you.

The slogans say:
"I'm not a total vegetarian. I'll eat chicken, fish, and you"
"I'm here about the blowjob?"
"I've always got something on the tip of my tongue."
[There's one about the Scientific Method and sex, but it's long.]
"The Surgeon General recommends three servings of me daily."
And finally,
"4 out of 5 lovers come again."

Those other three slogans are already available in the shop, and I have three more to put in, minimum, ASAP, and I must also get some designs going for black shirts, which will happen next week and you'll get a reminder when I do.

Now, I'll get back to writing tomorrow-ish. Don't worry, I can't very well be starting stores every week. Once this is up and done, it'll run itself. It's just disrupting a little of the writing right now. :)