seems i've always got something on the tip of my tongue.    ©

Saturday, July 15, 2006

On the Upside & Sugasm #38

While I miss the Guy, and I do, I'd like to get the friendship thing started, but I think he needs space. It's tough. I worry a little. Depression's a bitch. He's fighting the good fight, but I'd like to be around and helpful in that friend-only capacity. I don't know if there's a future for us. I'm beginning to realize how much more lacking the relationship was than full, for most of it, there, and possibly one day down the line he'll get back to being who he was at the beginning. It's only through friendship I'd regain the trust to be in a relationship again. But while he's fighting depression, I'm fighting the same, but borne of frustration and challenges and overcoming adversity. My year... whew, people, I'm gonna be a changed woman by the time I sit down and write my Christmas Eve Reflection for the year. Oh, this side of the struggle has had a hell of a view. I dunno how much the status-quo of friends and ex-lovers will be maintainable. If I get this potential job in the film industry that I have a bigwig swinging that bat to land me, then my life changes 180 degres: socially, financially, even chronologically. I'll be busy all the time, meeting important people, earning tonnes of overtime... Man, that'd be an awesome job. Challenging, rewarding, and I'd be fucking phenomenal in that capacity, and it'd be a dream coming true -- working on a film production. Making magic happen, baby. (But I argue I do that already. ;)

Anyhow: I'm employed now, I *think*, and it's not as reliable as I'd like, but I like the people, have been enjoying the challenge, and feel my week has concluded FAR better than it began.

I've received my last podcasting equipment! This week, I try to learn how to use it. I've emailed the ex-Guy to help me with it, but haven't heard back. Fingers crossed. He used to be a radio man, so I could use his guidance.

But now that I'm single again, I have that one thing that's good: complete freedom to do whatever the fuck I want. That's always nice.

Right now, I'm going to smoke some dope and roll back under my blanket and snooze. I need the break. Then, I watch one of the new movies I got. (I mentioned some on my other blog: Three for $20, and a goodly person PayPal'd me to say I had good taste, and to go buy them: Good Night and Good Luck, Capote, and Walk the Line. The last two of which I wrote of in the same piece a few months ago. And I've borrowed Munich, which I have lower expectations of, but will watch when I wake up.)

This is my weekend: Sleep, movie, clean-up, bike ride across town to Brother's pad, teach Big Brother how to cook a little for his birthday, hang with the nephew, get stupid with Brother, crash, breakfast with friend, bike home, have drinks with new person. All good. Not alone too much -- important after a break-up -- and busy, but hopefully productive and relaxing, too!

Anyhow, like you care about any of that shit anyhow. No, you want writing, writing like this:

This week’s best of the sex blogs by the bloggers who blog them.

SugarJoy has a New Webmistress (
Blogathon 2006 (

Sex Work and Humor
A Cornucopia of Perversion (
How to Spot Breast Implants (
F’n Amazing Webcam Show (
All About My Summer Vacation (

Erotic Writing and Experiences
UFC - Ultimate F(*)#&@&$ Club (
7/10 by Rex: A Tale of Two Roxies (
Morning After (
Tired? (
Friday Night Teaser (
Facets of an Assignation (
First HNT Dream (
coming in her mouth and in the trees (
Comfortably Decadent - Part Three (
Doesn’t Anyone Here Want Their Ass Licked? (
“The Meeting” a work of fiction (
Shibari Thursday (
Stand and Deliver (
A Fantasy in White (
Featured Article - Exploring Alternative Relationships (part 1) (
Bust a (Porn) Move (
Staff Pick (
Flash of Clarity / Flash of Mia (
Reader Question - Blow Me… Please (


Neighbor Affair: What could be more patriotic? (
Masked Nude Beauty (
Danni makes a splash! Squirting video and more… (
WebMistress Feature Gallery: Flashing Utah (

BDSM and Fetish
Isabella’s Eyes - Part III (
Spankable Blog Award (
HNT 22 - 4th of July Editon (
Doctor Who: the (should have been a) Spanking Episode (
My Lil Barmaid Sissy Bitch (
Redemption (
Waiting for Punishment in a Fantasy Manor (
And Now for the Video! (

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Closet Slut (?) (
The Ugly Cry (
Black Dicks in White Chicks: pornographic fantasies of miscegenation, black power, and the colonization of interracial desire (