Thursday, February 23, 2006

Unabashed Whoring

Hi there, you sexy thing.

I think it’s time we got to know each other a little better. I know you’ve been thinking about that for awhile now, imagining what I’d sound like in the night, whispering in your ear, all those little things I might suggest, say, or do.

And I’m sorry I’ve denied you for so long. It really hasn’t been my intent, as I so would like to leave you satiated and spent.

I hope it’s not too late, I hope we can do something to repair the neglect of time, but I’ll need you to give me a hand. A nice, strong hand.

You, dear reader, should become my dear listener. I’d love nothing more, knowing you’re there, rapt at the sound of my voice, the rise, the fall, the breathing and the utterances.

And without a second thought, I’d be there, a whisper in the night, at your beck and call. Now, an opportunity for that has arisen.

I want to podcast the Cunting Linguist. It would be completely new content from that which I publish on the site, and it’d be more spontaneous, uncharted, and surprising, plus it'd include the public and my reaction to 'em. You would have me off-the-cuff -- naked, as it were. And you know you’d like it. I aim to please. And I do so love voyeurism.

The trouble is, little old me jumped from her job and is now at the mercy of social assistance as I take the time to pursue some goals in the writing arena, thus the money to set up my studio in my boudoir presently escapes me, though I now have the time on my hands to adopt this undertaking. Since I wouldn’t want to be too isolated from the world, I’d need hardware for recording on the street, and I’d need a studio mic, and some soundproofing measures for my room, and cabling, and monitor headphones. The equipment I’ve listed could be had for about $300 or so dollars.

If you, the readers, donate that much ($300) to the cause, I will commit to a weekly program that will have about 8-10 regular feature segments over the course of 20-30 minutes. It’ll be irreverent, frank, open, insightful, funny, and always unpredictable. (There's time for humility later, really.)

Here’s your chance to fulfill a fantasy of mine. Maybe there’ll be opportunities for more of that... if you're good. In the meantime, in exchange, you’ll get an entertaining weekly audio program to devour whole instead of just these nibbles and bites of me you find in print, and the show will air with drastically different, more biting, and varied content on all manner of contemporary sex-related things. (The show would be more exclusively about sex/sexuality than this site presently has been.)

If you can get behind the program and want to support it, please click the “donate” torso on the sidebar and chip in. When you do, don’t hesitate to email me with a request for a topic or segment for me to do.

I do so love to return favours, after all.

podcasting: A reader confessed ignorance, so -- after downloading a simple program (freeware), you'll be able to choose to have my podcasts download automatically into your podcast player (or even iTunes). Then, you can listen to my podcast -- essentially a self-made radio show done in Mp3 audio-file format -- and have me give you aural pleasure. ;) A podcast can be listened to on your computer, you can burn an MP3 disc and listen to it anywhere you want, or you can feed your Mp3 player. It's radio on demand, sans commercials. It publishes once a week (say, Sunday at 11 PST) and then it's there for downloading ad nauseum. You never have to worry about missing it. Go away three weeks, there they are. Download it as you're visiting South America? Sure!

Podcasts are free, and this shall be no exception, beyond the gear-funds raising. I will teach you (do love the schoolin') how to receive said aural pleasure when that time comes. ;)


(And yes, I've updated the photo of my eyes in the sidebar. Gone is the 11-year-old shot, and instead, one I took today after I dressed for work. Colour, too. If you're into size, you can click it and go to the photostream to see a larger one, but this one had to be saved bar width, so it's small. A little legwork for you. Is a bitch, yes.)

9 comments:

  1. i'm so there ...
    now if only good old paypal would work in South Africa.

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  2. turns out paypal and South Africa are now friends ... so you have my donation!

    now get podcasting already!
    :D

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  3. LOL. Okay, well, let's wait for the other 95% of the funds to come in first, shall we? But you just bought me some cables, I'm sure.

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  4. But... *SMOOCH* thanks for inaugurating the fund. :)

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  5. I started my podcast using 10 dollars worth of equipment and some common sense about acoustics and talking into a microphone. I hope youi're able to get all of the equipment you want but people might be more excited to donate to improve the podcast once it already exists.

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  6. Emissary -- I put a definition up in the mainbody of this post.

    Thanks about the eyes. :)

    Lumpesse -- I know I could probably go and do a low-fi version, but at the moment, I'm really hesitant to do that. A) I'm a perfectionist, and B) I'm concerned it would be jarring against the carefully crafted image I have on here.

    If people ain't comfortable donating, they don't gotta. I'll probably still eventually do a podcast, but it'll take longer.

    It all comes down to asking never hurts. So, I'm asking. If I get no reponse, c'est la vie. The cookie crumbles. :)

    Whatever I do get will go into the slush fund towards a broadcast, either way.

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  7. you make me wish i wasn't completely broke...
    But...if you did want to do a preview to get people more interested and if you don't have any equipment you could try out http://www.gcast.com . Podcast over the phone...not perfect quality but its something to think about

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  8. mmmm... well I know I'd certainly love to hear you... ;)

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  9. Vagueboy -- Hey, thanks. I bet you were wishing you weren't completely broke before I said that, though.

    As for the phonecast, great notion, and while I'm starting to think I can do the podcast for half what I originally said, I won't stoop to doing it by phone.

    One, I'm a control freak. It's why YOU like me. It's why I'm GOOD at all the things I'm good at, if not "great."

    And the last thing I want to do, when I have a sex blog and image is everything, is go fucking it up by having my voice sound, well, bad. So, I'm gonna play my cards closer to my chest and see if there's a way to pull this off. I'll start scouring for a mic and stuff, since I have a whopping $10 of donations. (Ryan rocks!) Ha.

    DirtyBoy -- Duly noted.

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