The Man's Guide to Cunnilingus Pt. 2

As a preamble to part two, I’d like to get you to read the scene found below from the show Friends. The point is pretty basic: Almost every chick has had the experience where a guy just has no clue how many erogenous zones we have -- hell, even the back of the knees and the fold between where the ass and thigh meet can drive some chicks wild.

In short, fairly common hot zones? Nape of neck, earlobes, ears as a whole, tops of shoulders, breasts (all over), nipples, anywhere on the groin, the clit, the labia, the g-spot, the perineum, the mons, the fingers, the toes, the inner thighs, and for some chicks, the list goes on: the back of the neck, down the spine, the ass (the cheeks and everything in between), the torso, the belly button...

Guys can get bitter that chicks are as "sensitive" as they are... (Albeit, they generally mean emotionally.) Well, it applies physically, too, and that can really play to your sexual advantage, especially if you connect the dots as well as Monica does in that scene below.

Men need to realize that everything from lightly twisting the public hair to gnawing on the mons can drive a woman wild when it comes to orally pleasing a chick.

(If you’re furrowing your brows, “Mons?” Then here’s a helpful diagram you can refer to.)

Let’s face it, when it comes to oral, there aren’t a whole lot of different things you need to master. It all comes down to pacing and variety. It comes down to watching your lover, feeling their reaction, understanding those shudders, gasps, moans, and twitches. This is true of oral regardless of whether it’s straight or gay, on a man or a woman. Knowledge, responding to the physical evidence, attention to detail, and variety of methodology/pace are all things you need to bring to the table.

Sex -- oral or penetrative -- is like driving a standard transmission. Every little thing you do is going to provoke a reaction. It can go so well or so bad, all depending on you mastering those gears, knowing when to gear up, gear down, or when to just ride it out.

That said, there are areas that will provoke greater reactions, and that always, always, always includes the clit.

I don’t know if there’s an area on the man’s body that reacts with the same intensity as a woman’s clit. If there was, it’d probably be the frenulum, that sensitive bit just under the nib of the cock’s tip, which has always been a favourite plaything of mine during fellatio.

But for us girls, the clit is your ticket to orgasmic fame. So don’t even fucking think of starting things there. The clit’s where you go when you want to take her higher, push her to the edge of it all. It’s not an appetizer. It’s not the starter.

The starter is the inner thighs. Chew them, suck them. Trace a finger up and down her cunt as you do. She’s wet now, and ready for something more, anything more, and you know it. But just to be sure, lick your fingers first. Get ‘em good and moist.

Slip a finger in, and thrust it gently in and out a few times, still nibbling on those inner thighs. Slip a second finger in, thrust one or two times, then rotate your fingers completely around in one direction and back again, and again... like you’re using your fingers to wash the inside of a small-mouthed bottle or a dirty shot glass, slowly pulling out and pushing in as you rotate.

Your other hand can be scooped under her ass during this, clutching it, or maybe draped over her torso and fonding a breast. You’re still chewing her inner thigh, but now you move up to the crease of skin between where her leg ends and vagina begins. Start to lick a little, sucking a bit as you do. Slide your wet fingers out and pry her leg back and open for greater access to her goods. Delve your tongue into her.

In case you never got the memo, it’s important to know that while most chicks do love a good, hard fuck, because the animality of it’s the arouser, the reality is that most sensation we feel is when a guy does only shallow, quick thrusts with his dick. The reason for this is that our vulvic walls swell just inside the entrance of our cunt, and it’s the shallow thrusting against these swollen walls that stimulates us the most. When you’re deep inside us, it’s the same breadth and friction all the time, with little variety of sensation -- unless you’re hung like Ron Jeremy or something (which does NOT appeal to the average chick).

This is why oral is so goddamned effective -- you’re getting us where we most want to be gotten -- in the shallows.

Start off just thrusting and flicking with your tongue... deep and hard is always thoroughly good. Try to use the full range of motion with your tongue -- all the way up and down. But you should try to acquire the skill of making your tongue as wide as you can. If this means losing length, then so be it. You can vary the exploratory tonguing between both the wide and long approach.

I’m sure it’s a little trickier to manage, but if you can slip a finger in her while you’re doing the tonguing, it can be a really, really arousing sensation. Your thumb is probably the most manageable digit to use for this approach, and that’s just fine.

But what about speed, you ask? There’s a lot to be said for slow and thorough, and there’s also great things to be said about fast and aggressive. I favour a little bit of each, but some nights beckon for all of one or the other. It’s really something that’s going to depend on how she’s reacting and what the mood of your evening has been, and what she needs.

A word to the girls... it can be a real turn-on for men if they know you’re not lying there with your head back and your eyes closed. Watch them, scrutinize them, communicate with your eyes just how good you’re going to fuck them when they’re through. This can heighten your arousal -- and theirs -- as you watch them gnawing on you. Keep some candles or a light on so they can peer up at you as they’re devouring you. Eye contact is always arousing in oral.

As you continue working her over, you can use both hands to pull her thighs apart, pulling the fleshiness out of the way so you can orally enter her as deep as you can. (Girls, you realize you have a standing invitation to help your man out by doing this for him, too, right? And it'll often get him rock hard if you do participate. Nothing like a helpful girl to get a man off.)

But don’t do these moves all at once. Remember the Friends’ scene. You want to take breaks, often traipsing up to the mons to chew or lick, and moving occasionally up to her breasts and neck, still devouring her as you go. Smother her with your body, flick your cock head up and down her wet cunt, pressing it hard against her clit, letting it twitch a little if you can, teasing her as you suck and nibble her breasts or neck. Kiss her hard and deep, then soft and slow. Fondle her breasts. As you’re teasing her with your cock, lower it off the clit, flexing it up and down against her as you drop a hand down between you and softly, gently toy with her clit.

A word about the clit. Make sure that when you’re fingering her clit that you’re applying the soft pads of your finger. You have no idea how sensitive to touch the clit can be, and too much nail or bony fingertip can quickly undo all the work you’ve done to this point.

If you're in touch with your inner bastard, feel free to slip your cock into her for one, two, or three good thrusts, but then pull out and deny her more of the same.

Always leave 'em wanting. That's my motto. And also my cue.

The cliterature will continue with the next installment (there could be two more, depending how much info I decide to put in there). Stay tuned. Could be a couple days. Again, appease me with comments. That means you, too, boys. Makes me want to do a better job. And you really, really want that.

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FIRST THINGS LAST: I was reminded of my intention to post a link for donations when I saw that Mimi in New York (see sidebar for URL) had recently done so. Thus, you'll find a "Enjoy yourself? To donate, click here" button at the top of my sidebar. I'm presently not working, and think I'm doing a noble public service here with some of these tips -- just trying to make the world a happier place, one orgasm at a time, really. If you've learned something, or just like what you read, and can afford to throw 2 bucks or even 20 in my direction, feel free. The link goes to PayPal, where you can do your thing. It'd be helpful, if you're able. Thanks.