Christmas Wishlist, Item #1

Being out of work means I don't get to buy the trinkets my heart sets itself upon.

Like this. "Tongue Joy?" Oh, that ain't the only joy, honey.

Oh, lordy. I am hotly awaiting a personal introduction to this toy. My god. I mean, clearly you've noticed I'm into oral. Just when I thought it couldn't get better.

And it comes with a "turbo pack" with variable speed control? Mounted on an eager, probing tongue? [shudder] [gasp]

But wait, there’s more -- there’s a finger ring and a toe ring, too.

Oh, dear lord. Santy Claus, you listening?

The reviews are very positive, from what I’ve seen. And what I imagine... oh, ho. It can’t be anything BUT all good.

Guys, it’s in your interest to invest, too. Imagine one of these bad boys on your lover’s tongue as she devours your cock.

Fuck therapy, fuck Prozac, fuck it all. One watch battery and a vibrating tongue ring might just give you an all-access pass to Happy Land.

(From what I’ve seen on links, some sites sell it for markedly cheaper, but the catch is, the “turbo pack” isn’t included. Sacrilege! Never turn down the turbo pack. Also, it’s apparently recommended by Playboy. Somethin' tells me they know a thing or two about sex.)

A great product review can be found here.

But HEY. You, wonderful readers, can help me! Click the "donate here" torso at the top of my sidebar, and I can get me one of these badboys and review it for ya! Just another selfless act I'm willing to take upon myself for you.

In case you've yet to discover it, you can click the "Cunning Linguists Journals" link, also near the top of the sidebar, for more sexy websites. Some very cool sites out there. Clicky-click!

The much-awaited part four of the Man's Guide to cunnilingus will be posted Sunday.