seems i've always got something on the tip of my tongue.    ©

Monday, September 11, 2006

Storybook Time with Smutty Steff!

Taken from my parents' 1969 (the summer of love, don'tcha know?) edition of Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex*

With this on the shelves, in the living room, for my entire childhood, is it any wonder this didn't have some sort of impact on me, as if by osmosis or something? Yeesh.

Should children be kept from masturbation? Is masturbation harmful?

The only thing harmful about masturbation is the guilt that is drummed into children who admit masturbating, by parents who may themselves masturbate but don't admit it. Every human being, at one time or another, in one way or another, has masturbated. Most of them feel overwhelmingly guilty because of it. Most of them have continued masturbating.

Some of the terrible things masturbation is supposed to cause are pimples on the face, loss of manhood, pollution, and weakness. Of these afflictions, only pimples are a recognized disease. All children at the time of puberty develop pimples. Virtually all children are actively masturbating at the time. It would then be more accurate to conclude that pimples cause masturbation. No minister, moralist, teacher, or scientific researcher has ever showen any evidence masturbation is harmful in any way.

Comes from the Latin masturbari, to pollute oneself.

Oh, yeah, and: Halle-fucking-lujah!
Steff endorses masturbation.
Take two and don't call me.

*(But Were Afraid to Ask)