School's Back and Other Shit

All the boys and girls are back in school today. All the mommies and daddies are weeping with joy. All the university students are ready for dorm games and hijinks.

It's that time of year again.

My fond memories of college bring back copious recollections of sex in cars and the great outdoors. Ah, the good old days. Now living dangerously means fucking on the floor, carpet burn be damned. Well, when the delicious act of fucking avails itself to me again, that is. I really should get around to writing about all the reasons I love having sex out in the world. Not like I've done it in, oh, the last six or so years, but hey. I DID. A LOT. ONCE.

I say seize the moment, kids. Relish your college years and enjoy the sex that crops up everywhere, because it's a time in your life that you'll always look back on and miss, no matter how shitty it felt when you were in the midst of it.

And if you're in high school and reading me, well, shame on you. I have a sign that says you're supposed to be 18. I mean, shouldn't the Tooth Fairy and Santa be explaining sex to you? Since that's as much of a reality as your parents explaining it, right? Whatever. Just don't have sex 'cos you have NOTHING BETTER to do. Sex is too full of mindfucks and headtrips to use as a replacement for Spongebob Squarepants and Britney Spears, all right? Okay. Now party on.