seems i've always got something on the tip of my tongue.    ©

Sunday, June 18, 2006


Well, I did the Sex with Emily thing, and frankly, I'm disappointed. I'm much more entertaining than that.

I've mentioned before that I wear hearing aids, and there's been this phase for the last three months where I thought I was losing my hearing. Nope! The hearing aids had the oddest, weirdest gradual demise I've ever encountered, and I've worn aids my whole damned life. Had no idea it was them, despite them having been looked at by skilled professionals in the past quarter year, too!

Anyhow, long story short: they're in for repairs, and I've got these replacement aids. Imagine someone came in and reconfigured the sound on your stereo, TV, and everything else in your life, and everything was sounding, well, odd. Sort of like you couldn't quite get all the water out of your ears after swimming, more or less. That's where I'm at right now. Probably not the best time to be a guest on the radio.

Emily talks fast, that's without a doubt. Speedy, maybe not fast. I was having a hard time adjusting, but just when I got her cadence down, I went off "hold" and live on the air, and presto: Volume dropped by 30%. All of a sudden, my nerves hit, and I was having a hard time making out what she was saying. I fumbled and fudged my way through. Hearing, when you wear aids, ain't organic, it's an effort. It's different from what you're probably accustomed to.

Fumbled and fudged; exactly the right words. Right off the bat, I fucked up the first story I was going to tell, and felt like it was downhill after that. It sucks when you feel out of your element. Performance anxiety -- who knew I could suffer from it? Wow. (I'm one of those people who never minded public speaking, and always counted on speeches in school as an easy "A". What a dork, huh?)

Whatever. My debut. Not so illustrious. But that's how it goes. Soon, I'll be podcasting, and I will be in complete control, and I assure you, that'll be wildly different. Cocky, huh? Nah. I just know my boundaries, that's all.

Why, back in high school drama, when we had to do monologues, you know what I did? A scene from Silkwood. Meryl Streep. (She so rocks.) Yeah, baby. Bring on the drama. I secretly love putting on a show. I have high expectations of myself, and I'm disappointed with the quickie chat I had on SwE tonight, specifically my role in it, but I'm glad it was a short and sweet conversation so as to stop the bleeding swiftly. Aaaaaand CUT.

The podcast looms. This week I'll be receiving the microphone and other goodies. Just you wait, baby. Now you see what's happening here? Huh? Do you? Now I feel like I gots somethin' to prove. This is good. Pressure. I respond well. Goodie. Lemons, meet lemonade.