seems i've always got something on the tip of my tongue.    ©

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Holy Milestone, Batman

Sometime in the next 36 hours or so, my 500,000th hit will occur. How cool is this shit? And shy of my first anniversary, too. Love that.

I'm melting. It's 28/84 degrees in my apartment, after 11pm. I like warmth, but this shit's got to stop. This is the kind of weather that makes you think of some tragic jazz ballad played by some dude in a wife-beater on the streets of New York, backlit by streetlight, you know? It's that fucking hot and humid.

I have a few cool ideas kicking around for postings. I will tackle them this week. I'm going to put a little pressure on myself to meet three specific goals a day. Small accomplishments. It's like a work-to-live program or something, I think. Routine is comforting in challenging times. One of those will be to tackle three specific ideas I've jotted down this weekend. Challenging ones, too. Could be okay.


Depress-o-meter: Wow, these weekend things work, you know. I would have to say I am a soaring 4.25 out of 10, with 10 being the lousiest. I was leaning towards 4.33, but decided to grade on a curve. Ah, look, my sense of humour is returning. Yes, Frodo. Home. Speaking of home, I made homemade old-fashioned minted lemonade. If only I had bourbon. Fuck, it's good. I digress. I am now giving myself specific goals. I am starting to realize that if fighting depression is work, then I must strategize as I would in any career. I wrote a list of 35 goals today. (Stuff like, eat less fat; rediscover music; make real food more; be fit; give in to weed less; get up earlier; have fun; fight; go to the woods. Things that point me in a direction but don't force me to an end, you know what I mean? No pressure, just ambition.) I have simple ideas for the week: Clean the place tomorrow, enjoy the evening. Each day this week, be active in some way for 30 minutes or more (cycling means an hour or more per day). Spend an hour-ish playing with podcasting gear daily in an attempt at edumacatin'. Write daily. Preferably for both blogs. Force this shit. Just call me Hannibal. I love it when a plan comes together. But first you gotta have a plan. So. This is the goal. Here I invoke the Human Caveat: I am human, ergo I fuck up and often fall short. But I try.* Anyhow. I want to get some momentum building. I'll still get pills, but if I start forcing it now and start onto the pills, I may be able to keep the wagon wheels rolling. Hey, I'm trying on optimism for size, and hoping I can wear it well.

*There's a saying: "Aim for the stars; if you fall short, your head will still be in the clouds." Try. Hard. Fall short. Deal. Progress is progress, man.