seems i've always got something on the tip of my tongue.    ©

Monday, May 22, 2006

Mainline Me, Baby!

Oh, YEAH, that's what I'm talking about!

My internet was down all the damned day -- and television cable, too! Didja miss me? Don't answer that, I know you did.

On the upside, I kept myself busy. I masturbated twice. Yep, twice. (A busy day used to take two hands to count, but I'm happy to double-dip, considering the last posting and my confession of reduced sex drive and sexual sensitivity and all.)

I cleaned up nice (me and the apartment, that is) and got in a walk or two. Swore non-stop at my computer while waiting for the Incompetents at the Cable Co. (Shaw) to fix my 'net.

And then I got my internet back up! Hurrah! Nothing like mainlining the information superhighway, right?

And with the 'net recharging my fix needs, I got some nice emails! One I just have to share with you even though I've not gotten permission from the reader to divulge this. Fuck permission. This is important!

"Jimi," the poor bastard whose gal took a vow to stop slappin' salamis and shagging herself silly if the good lord would let her father live, has been getting laid six ways to Sunday ever since he sent off the email.

She's insatiable, all of a sudden, it seems, and HE has rediscovered his belief in the divine as a result of becoming her latest sex toy non-pareil!

We have no evidence that she reads this little bloggie, but geez, the timing's coinkydinky, don't you thinky?

If me and my lowly blog have in fact played any kind of role in Jimi getting shagged senseless and left gasping, then I am pleased to have done yet another noble service for mankind.

Yes, you heard it here first: Making the world a better place, one orgasm at a time.

Let this be a lesson to all the women not giving their men the shaggings they so desperately want to be getting: When you leave your man gasping, you'll have him at your whim. Such a lovely place to have them. And really, the shagging's good for everyone. Sex does a body good. Clench those abs, thrust, and smile, girls. Skip the gym and work your man instead.


About the boldly coloured new ad for my store over there in the sidebar: The store still looks like shit, is badly organized, and needs many new photographs uploaded to it. But I'll be working on that in the next week or so. For those who can't get away with wearing shirts that say things like "I'm here about the blowjob," but want to prevent me from looking for an actual job and having to work for The Man again, you can buy my original photography, instead. Here's an example, Vancouver's Granville Street Bridge, which I took this spring.